Improvements to Consent Policies
Over the past seven years, we’ve grown from a small group of friends into a community of nearly 8,000 members across the globe. With this growth has come unique challenges in ensuring the safety of those within our community and managing disputes when they arise.
Most of the time we get it right. Disputes are discussed and a resolution is found which satisfies both parties. But sometimes we don’t and issues escalate.
When these issues have escalated, I’ve responded to accusations in ways that distracted from the ethos of NSFW. I was wrong. As a leader I should have tried harder to de-escalate situations. I am sorry to anyone hurt by my responses. I hope we all can heal past the experience.
Working with our internal team we came up with new safety measures, training and hires to help us continue to build safer spaces and maintain our mission to spread positive messages about sex.
Here are ways we’re improving our safety measures to better support our membership in the new year.
More Guardians. We’ve increased the number of nymphs aka guardians at events. We will now have four guardians per party. Each event will be managed by a Floor Nymph in addition to a House Manager, Door Nymph and Bar Nymph to ensure spaces feel safe and guests always have a person to check in with.
More Training. We’re adding to our training of Nymphs and House Managers. We’ll be including harm reduction, managing inebriated guests, removal of disruptive people, and warning signs of behaviors to better maintain our code of conduct. All nymphs and house managers will be required to take a once yearly training on Narcan usage.
Recognition of our Code. Our Code of Conduct is a set of rules we agree to within our community. Upon entry all guests will be asked to review our Code of Conduct and agree to abide.
Emergency Contacts. We are requesting for all members to provide emergency contacts. If an emergency contact is not available, we will call the ambulance if we feel you are not safe to get home alone.
Event Rentals. We’re limiting the availability of outside rentals and requiring any parties using our space to abide by our Code of Conduct. There will be additional training with these hosts to ensure that our standards of safety are maintained. NSFW trained House Manager will be required for any events which allow play.
Hiring of a Resident Expert. To ensure all future disputes are resolved through an expert at the helm, we’ve brought on a professional psychotherapist to be available to review conflicts and assist in resolutions. This provides members with someone available to handle cases with care.
Simplified Reporting. We’re simplifying our system to make it easier to have us review a conflict and provide assistance. We’re also removing “creeper” language to allow for any conflicts to be considered.
Clubhouse Reporting. House Managers will provide reports on any issues which may have arisen in the night so that our community can be aware. Members will also be able to submit reports directly via tablet at the Clubhouse if they want to remain anonymous.
Requiring Send Noobs. Our consent training workshop, Send Noobs, will now take place during the first hour of each event. Those new to the Clubhouse will be required to attend consent training before enjoying the space and connecting to the greater community.
Reducing New Approvals. We’ll be slowing down the approval of new members in 2022 through introduction of an application fee. We’re hoping to slow down new applicants to allow us to better focus on the core membership.
Introduction of a Healing Circle. We often speak of restorative justice and its place in sex positive communities. To find answers to how we can create an environment of healing, I’ve put focus on my indigenous roots. We have introduced a Healing Circle method to manage disputes between our community and others. This will allow both sides to present their stories and allow for resolutions which will be guided by our resident advisor and community leaders. This service is being made available to anyone within our community.
Over the past year, I’ve had some time to reflect on what I initially set out to accomplish and ways we can ensure we achieve that goal. I don’t believe apologies should come without intentions to do better, so here are mine.
For any members or past members know that our doors are always open to listen and hopefully heal. Our goal has always been to provide a safe, judgement-free spaces even in moments of conflict.
We’re hoping that these new trainings, additions to our team and measures to reduce escalation will allow us to maintain the level of safety we should all seek in our sex positive spaces.
Always Conspiring,
Daniel Saynt
Chief Conspirator